


Are Batman & Superman Getting a Divorce?

by AKnightOfAGoodKing



Series: If You And I Don't End Up Together [3]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Batdad, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:24:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKnightOfAGoodKing/pseuds/AKnightOfAGoodKing
Summary: In which the Young Justice are concerned because Batman has been around Mount Justice too much and Superman reveals his last card, "I'm going to tell Robin."





	

**Author's Note:**

> **[DO NOT REPOST/REUSE MY WORK(S) WITHOUT MY ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND PERMISSION]**

Something was wrong, and Robin could tell, because Batman had been coming around to Mount Justice a lot more often this week, doing his work on the system computer instead of the Monitor Womb up in Watchtower. That could only mean one thing:

“Oh my god, Batman and Superman are getting a divorce.”

Everyone stopped, sitting in the lounging area of Mount Justice on a quiet Saturday afternoon. It was one of the rare moments where they were all together in the secret base doing nothing except watching TV and talking.

“What?” Artemis said, breaking the collective silence. “Batman and Superman are married? What?”

Robin shook his head. “They're probably fighting over something, and if they ever break up, Superman obviously would get Watchtower and Batman would get Mount Justice. Why didn't I noticed this earlier?”

“Wait, so they're not together?” Conner asked, confused. “But they're getting a divorce? How does that work?”

“Rob,” Kid said, “you got to give us a little more. You're the only one who knows what he's talking about.”

Robin looked at his friends, noticing their confusion. “Oh, well,” he started, “you know how Batman has been around Mount Justice a lot more often these days? He's in the meeting room right now, updating the Batcomputer and the Watchtower from long distance. Usually, he does that in the Watchtower.”

“I have noticed Batman’s presence,” Kaldur stated. “I've seen him more times than I've seen Black Canary this week.”

“He even helped me on my homework,” M’gann said, thinking it over. “He knows a lot about biochemistry.”

Robin frowned. “We have to do something about this,” he said. “He mother hens me enough in Gotham, and I can't have him do that here. That would not be aster.”

“How do we do that?” Artemis asked. “We don't go to Watchtower often without a good reason.”

“Well, we have to figure out why they're fighting and how serious it is. They've been friends for almost forever, and Superman is one of the few people who fought Batman.”

“How did you even know it's Superman he has a problem with anyway?” Kid asked.

“It's the most logical conclusion,” Robin said as a matter-of-factly. “I've seen them bicker, and I've seen the aftermath of it. It's most definitely Superman.”

“We could just ask,” M’gann suggestion.

“We can't just ask Batman why he's fighting with Superman, M’gann,” Kid rebutted. “He's going to glare at us and we’ll all break and run away.”

“Maybe ask a close observer?” Kaldur added. “Like Black Canary or Red Tornado. They must know something.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” M’gann said, smiling. She looked around the room a bit. “Where’s Conner?”

Everyone looked too, just realizing that Conner had disappeared. “Where'd he go?” Kid asked.

Robin’s eyes widen. “You don't think he went to ask Batman, right?” he asked, uncertain. There weren't a lot of people who weren't afraid of Batman’s glare. That took awhile to get use to if you didn't have bubbly personality, which probably explained why Robin and Superman couldn't care if they were the receiving end of one, which was not an uncommon occurrence.

Everyone rushed to the meeting room, which also doubled as a training room, Kid the first one to get there (“Cheater!”)

“Would you repeated that, Superboy?” they heard Batman say with a warning tone.

“Are you and Superman getting a divorce?” Conner repeated, unfazed. “Where will I go in the process?”

Batman grunted. “You're not going anywhere. You belong here, and any _disagreements_ Superman and I have won't affect you.”

“Batman, he may be my genetic donor, but you're the first one to try and get him to accept me. He and Luthor may be my fathers, but you're the closest thing to an actual father figure to me. In your mind, where will I go in the process?”

Batman stopped his typing, frowning as he looked over to the clone of his closest friend. “Like I said before, you're not going anywhere, Conner. Here is where you belong, and I don't need Superman to say that. And no, we’re not getting a _divorce_ of any kind, if it makes you feel better to know. He's just being a persistent annoyance right now. He'll figure out to keep quiet sooner or later.”

Superboy let out a breath, nodding.

“Now, you and the rest of the team go back to lounging around,” Batman said, glancing over to the doorway where the others were listening from behind. “It's not often you get a break.”

Conner nodded again, walking out of the room as directed. “They'll be okay,” he told his team as the door closed behind him.

Robin looked relieved. “I'll give it a few more days before I start investigating,” he said, happy to have made a decision. “I don't want the League to get separated in a huge custody battle. I don't know how I'll convince them to have a wedding again.”

“Wedding?” M’gann asked, speaking for everyone else because they have never heard about this.

Robin looked surprised, realizing that the rest weren't there. He forced a chuckle, blushing a little out of childish embarrassment. “I was, uhm, nine,” he said, “and I wanted to call Superman my Superdad.”

Artemis bursted out laughing.

 

Black Canary was watching Superman and Batman carefully during the meeting, as she was for a little more than a week. She might not be the only one to notice their tense atmosphere, but she had a sure feeling it had something to do with the attack on Central City by Grod. All she needed was either one to open up to her.

She would attempt at Batman first, she being one of the few people he trusted immensely, but this time, Canary was going to talk to Superman first. It wasn't as if they were good friends and teammates, but Superman was more Green Arrow’s. However, Canary had a feeling that the Man of Steel would be more inclined to talk, seeing that he had been eyeing  Batman who had been ignoring him the whole time.

When the meeting was over, she followed behind Superman by a few yards, watching silently as Superman attempted to talk to Batman, who once again deflected the strongest man on Earth and teleported to Mount Justice.

“Trouble in Paradise, Superman?” she asked, smiling sympathetically.

Superman looked to her, nodding a little as he sighed. “He won't listen to me,” he confessed. “It's been a week and he still think he's fine.”

“What happened?”

Superman hesitated a little. “He got punch in the ribs by Grod last week,” he whispered to her, darting his eyes to make sure the topic of their conversation didn't just pop up out of nowhere, again. “He doesn't show, but he has a huge bruise on his entire left side and still haven't got it checked out. I know Agent A looked over it, but to have an injury like that for that long can't be good. I've been trying to get him to get check up by in the Watchtower medical wing or at least by one of the heroes with a degree in the human medical department, but he's been throwing a tantrum every time I bring it up.”

Canary hid a laugh with a cough. Only Superman would say, out of concern, that Batman was throwing a tantrum about getting checked up. “He's always been a stubborn man,” she said. “Do you want me to talk to him? Maybe I can convince him.”

Superman shook his head, smiling in gratitude. “It's okay, Canary,” he told her. “I have one last card to play. He's not going to like it, but it'll convince him.”

She raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

Superman gave her a serious look. “I'm going to tell Robin.”

Out of shock, Canary gasped.

 

Canary was nervous about something. Which meant something was wrong, like she knew something she knew he wouldn't like.

But he couldn't do anything about it at the moment, watching over a training session with the members of the Young Justice. He couldn't talk to her without drawing their attention.

_Recognized: Superman, zero-one._

In an instant, everyone stopped. Superman rarely showed up to Mount Justice alone, a surprise  a to everyone in the  a team, and even more worrisome was the fact that Canary was biting her bottom lip. Superman was planning something.

“Superman,” Batman said, trying to gauge the situation. “What do you need?”

Superman had a very serious expression, which was a very distressing sign. “I have something to tell Robin,” he said, looking to the team, “and to anyone else it may concern.”

 _“Don't you dare,”_ Batman scowled, so tempted to pull out his emergency kryptonite in his utility belt, but he didn't want to harm Superboy, who was also in close proximity.

He saw Canary take a step away, gesturing to the team to do the same. She knew. “Canary,” Batman said in very subtle betrayal.

Canary frowned. “This wouldn't happen if you just listened, Batman,” she said, defending herself as she crossed her arms. “Now you've bought the kids into this mess. Reap what you sow.”

Batman pursed his lips, the gears in his head running to figure out escape routes. He should concede right now and then, leaving the younger heroes none the wiser about any of this, but he knew that if he did, Superman would have this one upper hand over him. There was no tactical logic to forfeit the battle only to lose the war, not when you can just avoid the fight in the first place.

“What's going on?” Superboy said, interrupting the moment. His eyebrows were furrowed, Robin concerned at his side. Everyone else was just as troubled.

“Yes,” Aqualad said, “is something the matter? Do you need to speak to Robin privately?”

Superman nodded, and Batman took a few steps back, slowly towards the exist. He designed the base, and he can certainly escape through its many, many secret passageways.

“Not a chance,” this constant annoyance said, swooping in to grab Batman by the arm and lifting up the heavy Kevlar, and he revealed a bruise shaped almost like a large hand on the left side of Batman’s torso, colored purple and black. Superman turned back to the team, directing it mostly to Robin. “It's been a week, and he hasn't report to medical.”

Batman yanked his arm away, covering himself up, and he scowled at Superman. “It's none of your business, Superman,” he stated, extremely irritated but also hesitant to look at everyone else. He could already feel the states on him. _Damn you, Clark, and your nosy, meddlesome boy scout way of life._

“You told me you didn't get hurt too much!” Robin shouted, obviously upset, and Batman was beginning to feel guilty. “You had A lie to me! You're such an ass, B!”

“Language, Robin,” Batman tried. “And I'm fine.”

“No, you're not,” Superboy jumped in, looking as upset as Robin sounded. “You're supposed to be better than this.”

“Batman, you need medical attention!” Miss Martian added, frantic as she floated over to Batman. “Human biology says skin isn't meant to bruise like that. It's not healthy.”

“Was it Grod?” Kid asked, coming up close. “Uncle Flash told me he did a number on the League, but oh my God! I'm so sorry, Batman!”

Artemis, on the other hand, was extremely annoyed that a grown man would act this way, pulling out a small container. “My mom made me this,” she said, grabbing Batman by the hand and forcing it on him. “It's meant for small injuries, but if you're not going to get yourself some _professional_ help, you might as well use this.”

“I said I'm-” Superman smacked Batman lightly on the back of his head, eyeing the Dark Knight to accept the kindness, _because they care about you just as much as I do, you idiot._

“We should end training early today,” Aqualad suggested, orderly like the leader he was. “I think it would be best to have Robin and Superboy escort Batman to the Watchtower medical wing.”

Without asking Batman, Superboy nodded as Robin, angrily, pushed their closest father figure towards the zeta tube. Batman was tempted to throw an exploding batarang right at Superman’s smiling face, but he was distracted when he heard Kid whisper, “Does this mean we don't have to worry about them getting a divorce anymore?”

He was more befuddled when he heard Canary reply, “Yes."


End file.
